Olivia's Secret
by CSISaraSidle72
Summary: Olivia has a secret...or rather, two secrets, that she didn't let be known to anybody.  Now those secrets are out, but can she chance the thought of having to confront and come to terms with her past?  EO later...maybe...I'll have to see.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Before I start this story, let me just say that I'm not a mother...I haven't been blessed in that way. However, I'm am an aunt to a very beautiful nine-year-old girl and a very handsome two-year-old boy, both of whom I love and I babysit often. So, while I don't have children, I understand the work that goes into taking care of them, and they (my niece and nephew), and other kids I meet, are the inspiration I get into writing my stories and fics.

I felt I needed to explain, some. Also, this is another childhood cancer, story, as well...somewhat, that is. I'm mainly writing this story to make a some-what happier one for Christmas, and also to make the nagging thoughts and ideas that are in my head, stop, for the time-being. I got this idea just a short while ago, and I wanted to post it. Although, this MIGHT be the last one that I start-anew, for now...at least until I get at least one of the other fics, finished (notice I said MIGHT...it just depends, because I go freaking crazy if I have an idea and don't post it, or I do and have quite a bit on my plate, already).

Anyways, this fic takes place in December of 2005, before Olivia ever did any undercover stuff and also starts right before Christmas. She doesn't get visits from people from work, and she doesn't bring her personal life into the job. She doesn't go out for drinks, and if she has to stay late for work, she always goes off and makes phone calls, first, and the squad has no idea why.

With Elliot, he is 39, as well as Kathy. Maureen is 21, Kathleen is 16, and Dickie and Lizzie are 12.

Olivia has twin daughter's; Samantha "Sam" and Danielle "Dani" Benson were born October 28th, 1998, which makes them now 7. When they were a few months old, their mother started working for SVU, but nobody ever found out about them.

Also, Dani, the shyer of the two, has cancer, specifically, a brain tumor. She was diagnosed the first time when she was four. Olivia was able to take sick leave from work and somehow they got through it without telling anybody what was going on. She's now in remission, but hasn't been for long, so she still goes for treatments and she's still bald, which means she either wears a scarf or a wig. Also, the type of surgery that she had to have to remove the tumor has left her face deformed and somewhat scarred. Bone and tissue had to be removed to get the tumor out, so the left side of her face is sunken in, and everything else is out-of-proportion. But, since she's seven, they think that she can adapt better to life like that than if she were older. Not really, but they hope so (the doctors, her therapist, and her mother).

Now, without further ado, time for the fic! Hehe...

* * *

><p><strong>December 19, 2005<strong>

Olivia woke up, at first thinking that it was time for work until she took in her surroundings. It was still dark out, and when she looked to her nightstand, the digital red that glowed on her alarm clock only read 5:30. She spent the next hour trying to get back to sleep, but finally she gave up, and got out of bed. She first took a shower, then got dressed and after she was ready, she went to check on her two precious girls. When she opened the door, she saw two twin beds, but only one was occupied. She smiled at the sight of the twins sleeping in Sam's bed, then frowned slightly. Dani had only been doing that since she came home from the hospital, but Sam never seemed to mind. Olivia shook her head, gently closing the door, and went into the kitchen to start breakfast.

Thirty minutes and five pancakes later, Olivia had the table set and was ready to go and wake up the girls when she heard feet lightly padding the wooden floor. Olivia stopped, worrying that someone might have gotten into her apartment until a little form in pink pajamas appeared. She sighed in relief as she saw Sam walk towards her, sleepily. "I wasn't expecting you up, yet," Olivia said as Sam came over to her mother and hugged her. When Sam pulled back, she was rubbing her eyes, as if sleep had escaped her the night before.

"I know, mommy," Sam answered, yawning. It was indeed 7:30, but the girls were out of school for Christmas vacation. Well, Sam was out of school, at least. Dani had been on the home-bound program ever since her diagnosis. "I just couldn't sleep no more. That, and Dani kept taking my covers away." Sam scrunched up her face, which made Olivia laugh. Olivia went over and picked her up, setting her at the table. There, she put a pancake and a half of one on her plate, then poured some syrup. After pouring some milk, Olivia set down the glass and ruffled her daughter's mop of brown, curly hair.

"I'm going to go see if sissy's ready to get up," Olivia said, planting a kiss on her daughter's head before walking back into the girls' bedroom. The room was a soft pink on Sam's side and a soft purple on Dani's side. She had respected both girls when they'd told her they wanted to share the same room, but wanted to show their different sides on _their _side of the room. Olivia smiled, remembering that. It had been right before Dani had been admitted to the hospital, and the whole time she was there, she had surely missed this room.

Olivia smiled at the form still sleeping on Sam's side of the room. Dani was gaining weight back, but not enough. She still looked pale, and she still felt tired and sick, sometimes, even though she'd never come right out and say it. Her head was also still bald, which she didn't mind showing so around their apartment, but whenever they went out, Dani always wanted to wear a certain scarf or her wig. She wore the scarves more, however, because they didn't itch as much.

Being as quiet as she could, Olivia tip-toed over to the bed and sat down. That's when she couldn't help but looking at the scars, on her head and down her face. They were slowly disappearing, but anybody who looked at her could tell she wasn't right. Olivia shook her head as tears came to her eyes. She had to act normal for Dani, but she knew whenever they went out, people always stared, and it was always harder to hide her head than her face. Finally calming down after a few moments, Olivia lightly shook Dani out of the dream she was having. Slowly, Dani's eyelids opened to show her big, beautiful brown eyes and she smiled a soft smile towards her mother.

"Hi mommy," Dani said sweetly, turning on her side to face her mother. She didn't feel like getting up, but she knew if she worried her mother too much, she might have to go back to the hospital, and Dani didn't want that. "Are you off work, today?"

Olivia smiled. "I sure am. I thought we could go to the library...maybe the park, too, if you're up to it," Olivia said as she patted the baldness that used to hold the same color of hair and matching curls that her twin sister had.

Dani stretched real big before she sat up. "I'd like that, mommy." Even though she was still so tired, she wanted to resume the life that she once had, before she got sick. Although she wondered if there was any way that they could hide her face. Dani was glad that she was still alive and survived her cancer, but she knew that, no matter what, people always stared at her...especially her face. She tried to push her dark thoughts from her mind and that's when she smelled food, and sniffed the air. "What'd you make, mommy?"

"Your favorite," Olivia said, grinning at her daughter with a twinkle in her eye. "Pancakes. You up to it?"

Before the chemotherapy, Dani could've eaten a lot, but even though she was in remission, she still had to take certain medicines that either made food revolt in her stomach, or taste peculiar. She wanted to give it a try, anyway, so she wouldn't worry her mother. "Yep!" With that, Olivia took Dani's hand and they both went to the kitchen to eat with Sam.

Two hours later, Olivia had the girls dressed and ready to go, Sam in a pink outfit with matching neck-scarf, gloves and toboggan while Dani was in all purple, with a purple toboggan on her head. Her mother hadn't let her cover her face, today, and for that, Dani was a little nervous, but she knew she had to get over it at some point or another.

Olivia smiled at her two daughter's as they readied to leave their apartment. Dani hadn't thrown up at breakfast, which was a good sign, but Olivia really wished that she could've ate more. Olivia knew she'd have to get her to eat again, but later. She didn't want to put too much on her young daughter so soon.

After they left their apartment building, they first went to the library. Olivia knew they enjoyed coming there, and while Sam played on a computer, Dani picked out a few books and went somewhere else to sit. Olivia was searching a book that Dani had asked about when she heard a voice behind her.

"Hey, didn't plan on seeing you here."

Olivia froze. _It's Elliot...what do I do? _Olivia turned around, eyeing the partner she'd had at SVU for almost six years now. Although this was a first, that is, seeing him outside of work. "I could ask you the same question," she said with a small grin, hoping that her girls would stay where they were, for now.

"Well, Kathleen had to do research for an assignment, so I brought her and Dickie and Lizzie with us, as well," Elliot answered, looking over her shoulder at the computer. "Now, who do you know that reads, 'Harry Potter'?"

Olivia shrugged. "I just thought...I'd give it...a try," she lied.

"Nice try," Elliot answered with a shake of his head. "Are you babysitting?"

_Babysitting...that was actually a good lie. _But before she could open her mouth to speak, Sam was rushing up to her. "Mommy, where's Dani?"

Things had come full circle for Olivia, now, and she knew she couldn't lie. She should've just told everybody right off, but she'd been too chicken to. She often worried about how they'd think of her as an SVU detective, among other things. Olivia finally smiled at her eldest child. "I think she went to the Children's section, Sam. You know how she feels, right now, about loud noises and lots of people."

"Her medicine gives her a headache and she doesn't want people to see her," Sam said, before turning and seeing Elliot, the man her mother had been talking to right before she'd interrupted them. "I'm sorry I intruded," she apologized. "What's your name? I'm Sam Benson," said the little girl in pigtails, who looked up at Elliot with a toothy grin.

Elliot was furious, to say the least, but he hid it quite well. Olivia was glad, not for her sake, but for her daughter's sakes. "I'm Elliot Stabler," he said, holding out his hand and shaking hers. "I work with your mommy."

"You do?" Sam asked, all smiles now. She'd always wanted to know more about her mother's job, as well as her co-workers, but her mother didn't talk about either, that much.

"I do," Elliot confirmed, looking up at Olivia with a look that said they would talk about this later. Olivia nodded, knowing at the very least that she should've confided in _him _before now. But it was over and done with, and she'd have to live with the concequences. "So, you have a sister, Sam?"

Sam nodded. "Yep. Her name's Dani, and we're twins," she said proudly.

Elliot chuckled. "Two of my kids are twins, two. They're twelve, and their names are Dickie and Lizzie."

Sam thought about it. "So they're not identical, huh?" she asked, almost let-down. Even living in New York, Sam hadn't met many twins that were like her and Dani.

"No, but they still surprise me sometimes with how well they know one-another," Elliot answered. "Do you think I could meet your twin?"

Sam smiled. "Sure," she said, and was getting ready to lead Elliot and her mother to where her sister was before her mother stopped them. "Mommy," Sam said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing sweetie," Olivia said with a smile, as to not worry her little girl. "Why don't you go sit with Dani, and we'll be right along." Sam nodded, waved to Elliot and went to her sister.

"What's that for?" Elliot asked. "First, you don't tell me you have kids, then you don't want me to meet them both?" he asked. Olivia could tell he was angry, but she shook her head.

"It's not that, El," Olivia said quietly. "The reason I didn't tell you is a reason that I'd rather not discuss here. As for meeting Dani, I want you to, but I figure you're better off knowing something about her before you meet her, so you don't hurt her feelings."

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked, the anger he'd had only moments before ebbing away.

"She's...she's not like other kids, or as hyper as Sam," Olivia confessed. "She used to be...before...but now, now she's more tired and she doesn't have hair and it makes her feel self-conscious. I just wanted to let you know, because if she sees that you're shocked, she'll feel bad about it."

Elliot gulped, taking a deep breath before asking, "What does she have?"

Olivia took a deep breath of her own, sighing, before saying, "cancer...a brain tumor."

Elliot looked shocked, to say the least, but he shook his head. "She's fine now...right?"

"Physically yes, mentally...not as much as she was before," Olivia replied sadly. She finally looked Elliot in the eye, and hesitated no longer. "She's in remission, but when they removed the tumor, her face was scarred," she whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. "She doesn't look normal, and the doctor's think she'll never look normal, again."

* * *

><p>How will Elliot respond to that news? Will his kids like his partner's kids? What about the rest of SVU...will they be shocked to learn what Olivia never wanted to say. And what about Sam and Dani's dad? Who is he, and why doesn't Olivia want to talk about him? All you have to do is review, and you'll find out in the next chapter!<p>

~*Missy*~


	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE

(FROM) ONLY TIME WILL TELL

lawandorderfan96  
>2011-12-24 . chapter 3<p>

Its a good story but this one and your other two SVU stories are all pretty much the same.

I knew they were all alike, but after that message, I'm taking a poll on which story you all want me to continue, because now I'll only be finishing one of them.

A) Only Time Will Tell

B) A Christmas Wish

C) Olivia's Secret

I'll be taking votes up until December 31st, and the story that gets the most votes, wins. I may go ahead and delete the two stories that don't win, but that'll depend. I may just finish them shorter so that I can keep them up, but it won't be the same as if I just went a head and wrote out all the chapters THEN finished them.

Please send me any votes to **nobodiesangel_ 16 AT hotmail . com **(it's actually like a regular email address, with no spaces but I had to put the spaces in, because it wouldn't post it, otherwise and the AT is that at symbol, but it wouldn't let me post that at all).  
>When I tally up the votes, I'll email everyone to let them know which story won.<p>

Again, I'm sorry. I know they were the same, but with slightly different premises in them, but that same reason could be why I haven't been getting reviews for a couple of them, too, so this will just make it easier to finish the one that you all like the best.

Everyone vote, and I hope that everyone has a very happy holiday!

Missy

P.S. The reason why I write cancer stories is because I'm very close to the disease, and I know how it works. I write stories about kids not knowing a parent or only having one parent because I've experienced the latter part myself, and I have a couple of cousins facing the first, and I've seen how they reacted to it. I guess I just needed to explain it somewhat, because the stories were so much alike, but I really never meant them to be.


End file.
